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1000 richest people are approched. "The end of the world is here. Time to go to your doomsday bunker", they are told. The billionaires nodded. They knew this was coming. They were prepared.

So they gathered their loved ones and locked themselves in luxury bunkers. No contact to outside world.

10 years later they emerge. The world has healed. The air is breathable, people are happy. "What was the catastrophy?" they ask the first person they meet.

She screams: "THEY GOT OUT!!!"

#microfiction

I will not be satisfied until my blood type is havarti.

Trying to decide how much bacon is too much bacon for tomorrow's traditional quiche. If I go over 1:1 on the bacon:eggs ratio, then it officially becomes a meatloaf, right?

Hiring a software engineer in their late 40s:

Pros:
* Understands your stack better than you do after glancing through the repo for five minutes.
* Will rewrite said stack 2x as fast, and half as buggy if you let them.

Cons:
* Gives zero fucks.
* Knows we're not *really* like family here.
* No, seriously, absolutely zero fucks given.

Do not cite the deep magic to me, product manager, I was there when it was written.

Is it just me, or have the pointed sideburns from star trek become a real fashion trend?

It's funny how references to Twitter in movies already feel like references to MySpace in movies.

Like the college tuition thing, he's addressing the symptoms, but not the causes.

Just fucking legalize it.

I will never understand people who drive slow on the highway, with people passing them on both sides, who think "yeah, this is fine."

These unintentional architects of rush hour are clueless about the havoc they wreak, and that baffles me.

This is the way headlines are supposed to be: the best possible summary of the major points of an article.

"Tesla lied to customers, blaming them for shoddy parts the company knew were defective". I can't improve on that.

Tesla is terrible. Don't buy their cars.

techdirt.com/2023/12/21/tesla-

#Tesla #deceptive #liars

To be clear, choosing not to allow Nazis to benefit from the fruits of your labor is not "censorship". It's "disassociation."

Refusing to disassociate is, by definition, associating with Nazis. And if you don't see why it's wrong to associate with Nazis, then you are *already too comfortable* with Nazis.

Corporate mega-mergers: Killing quality, innovation, and jobs since before I was born.

For those arguing that the Colorado decision is bad and shouldn't have happened because it'll cause more harm than good:

Denying accountability because of fear of retribution is called "appeasement". It didn't work in 1940, it won't work today.

Yes, it's possible that holding powerful people accountable might cause negative consequences. But not holding them accountable is *guaranteed* to cause negative consequences.

So the choice is clear, from both a moral and practical standpoint: Accountability matters.

MAGA: we believe in states rights

KANSAS: we're refusing to ban reproductive rights in our state constitution

MAGA: except that

OHIO: we're protecting reproductive rights in our state constitution

MAGA: and that

COLORADO: trump is disqualified

MAGA: no more states rights!!!

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