Followed a bunch of (mostly new) people.
Realized that the thing that stopped me from using the birdsite - constant negativity and drama and people dunking on each others tribes - was starting to happen here too and making the site less appealing to me.
Went ahead and unfollowed every single person that was making my feed unpleasant, whether by themselves or by boosts.
I’d rather have a feed that has no updates in an hour, than one that has fifty updates and half of them bad for my #mentalhealth.
(Sorry for contributing to that kind of vibe myself with this, I usually put this kind of stuff under a CW - if I post them at all - but things just got overwhelming for a moment.
Also, this is not to dunk on birdsite escapees in general, a lot of y’all are lovely and post interesting stuff. And the fediverse isn’t immune to such people, I’ve just avoided following them in the first place - but that’s hard to do with new people when there’s only the profile and an introduction to go by.)
@digital_carver Don’t feel too bad. Just follow whoever you like, you’re not required to follow anyone. If someone’s havinga bad effect on you, just unfollow. Your mental health is more important.
@trinsec
True. I used to think like “if 80% of someone’s posts are good, I should follow them”, and I had some FOMO (fear of missing out) if I didn’t. But nowadays I’ve realized it should be more like “if more than 5% of someone’s posts are negative and unconstructive, it’s not worth following them”.
@digital_carver Ayup. FOMO is a bitch to deal with, but it’s something that humanity really needs to learn to deal with imo. You’re hardly the only one having this. Methinks Social Media and all those hypes just make this worse.
@digital_carver
Don't let yourself be demotivated by that. I am on this platform only for a few days but I already did enjoy a couple of vivid discussions with disagreeing in a very civilized and respectful way. This platform will be formed by the people who wan't to see it prosper, not those only using it to spread hate.
🇳🇱
@digital_carver look after yourself first man… likely the drama will die down though, we will see.
@freemo
Honestly, I probably would have disengaged from the Fediverse/Mastoverse a long time ago - or at best had a mostly dormant account (like I do on the birdsite) - because of stuff like this, if not for #QOTO.
To my knowledge, this is the instance that comes closest to having the culture that Hacker News wants to have:
Eschew flamebait. Avoid generic tangents.
Be kind. Don’t be snarky. Have curious conversation; don’t cross-examine. Please don’t fulminate. Please don’t sneer, including at the rest of the community.
(from https://news.ycombinator.com/newsguidelines.html)
So, thank you, for creating an environment for those of us that want to have genuine and curious conversations.
@digital_carver It makes me happy to hear you feel this way. We do try our best to keep things civil.
@digital_carver@qoto.org6 @freemo Indeed, closest instance to comms style around beginnings of internet.
Ok i lived then on IRC, plus for longr physical while in NY, is why i failed coom:
@digital_carver @freemo Yes, indeed. It’s not that hard to be polite and civil. I am occasionally snarky and sarcastic with friends that I know well enough but not with others.
A good lesson is to watch posts by The Onion (snark, sarcasm, parody). Despite the fact they’re famous and have been doing it for 25 years, often more than half the responses are from people who don’t get the sarcastic humor, don’t realize that it is humor.
You are right I should be more civil, but when dishonesty is being institutionalized, I get mighty noisy. I think of President John Adams, known for being obnoxious and disliked.
@digital_carver all that's totally reasonable, IMO. Unfollowing costs no one anything and things can change. I've unfollowed accounts that boost posts in other languages just because I'm waiting for better translation support.
@drdrowland
Just as an aside, you know you can turn off boosts per followed account? Go to their profile page, click on the 3 dots, and you can turn off boosts coming from that account.
@digital_carver yes, I can't be bothered with these people, I unfollow, and if they are on my own instant, block so they don't fill my local feed. Twitter got so full of negativity in all kinds of ways, I'm determined this will be different for me. #selfcare #positivity #TwitterMigration
Same. It’s taken me some conscious work to realize that these shoutfests are not as important or widespread as the (loud minority of) people engaged in them make it seem. It’s so easy to get pulled into them and away from the positive constructive stuff that’s also going on at the same time.
I’ve started to think of social media in terms of the Buddhist concept of Sangha - as in, curating your own circle of people in a way that helps you keep an eye on what’s important, and lets you grow as a person.
Mastodon helps with that by
(1) not having an algorithmic feed that shoves hot button topics in your face, and
(2) giving you a lot of controls in what you see and interact with.
But it’s still upto us to actively do the work, and create our own soul-nourishing Sanghas.
#socialmedia #mastodon #fediverse #buddhism #sangha #positivefedi #selfcare
@digital_carver I absolutely agree. We are not obliged to listen to or interact with anyone we feel does not improve or expand our internal peace. I am not Buddhist - I have no formal religion - but I appreciate a lot of the teachings.
#socialmedia #mastodon #buddhism #sangha #selfcare
People’s #introductions be like: I love nature and biking and the potential for world peace.
And their actual posts be like: HATE HATE YOU’RE WRONG HE’S WRONG EVERYONE’S WRONG UNLESS THEY AGREE WITH ME 100% AND THEY OUGHT TO BE TOLD THAT EVERY DAY