Jose Santiago @slider7420@qoto.org
- https://www.instagram.com/slider7420/
Former biologist, current Information Security Engineer, wannabe amature #Movie and #Television Pundit. I post mostly about the latter. I enjoy #BuffyTheVampireSlayer more than and adult hetero male is supposed to. I play video games poorly. Lifelong #MiamiDolphins fan. I struggle with #depression and it keeps me from doing many things I'd like to do. #Godzilla fan. Get ready for pictures of my #dogs. Twitter migrator, twitter handle is @themcluster. My bio is evolving.
Joined Nov 2022
Jose Santiago
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What an amazing photo!
Check out the reflection.
#Zelensky #speakerpelosi
STAR TREK PRODIGY MINOR SPOILERS
Man! Today's episode of #StarTrekProdigy was PACKED! I loved seeing all of those ships, even if the conditions were less than ideal.
Bison at 35 below zero. Yellowstone National Park, USA.
photograph by Tom Murphy Photography
Jose Santiago
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Something quite serious now.
For the past 2 years on the birdsite, I've enjoyed being part of Sarah Millican's #JoinIn - there for anyone on their own over the festive season who would like to join in a group chat to help pass the day.
We've had some great times, and I'm planning to support it here too this year.
If you're lonely, just post #JoinIn so we can spot you, or search for the #JoinIn hashtag, and just join in!
Good idea? Give it a BOOST!
@freemo are there any plans to update to Mastodon version 4.0 or newer any time soon? I think many of us would like to have the ability to follow hashtags. Thank you in advance!
Jose Santiago
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r/Damnthatsinteresting - Tree: 1 Rock: 0
160 votes and 16 comments so far on Reddit
Jose Santiago
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All right #Mastodon, show this #twitterexodus refugee what you can do.
Walked away from 6700 followers because I won't provide content (not directly, at least) or be in the same space as a destructive & dangerous narcissist. This new (for me) place is cool but I do miss being able to post a special #nature #photograph & know it will get seen thousands of times.
I guess that's my #introduction. I rant about #covid #CovidIsNotOver & #LongCovid & I live in a beautiful place. With a foot of snow.
Jose Santiago
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The Top 10 Most anticipated #Movies of 2023 (From Fandango.com)
2023′s Top 10 Most-Anticipated Movies Across Categories
1. “Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3” (Disney)
2. “Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse” (Sony)
3. “Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania” (Disney)
4. “John Wick: Chapter 4” (Lionsgate)
5. “Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny” (Disney)
6. “Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom” (Warner Bros.)
7. “Mission: Impossible – Dead Reckoning Part One” (Paramount)
8. “The Hunger Games: The Ballad of the Songbirds and Snakes” (Lionsgate)
9. “Creed III” (MGM)
10. “The Super Mario Bros. Movie” (Universal)
Jose Santiago
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A nun walks into the Mother Superior’s office and plunks down into a chair. She lets out a sigh, heavy with frustration.
“What troubles you, Sister?” asked the Mother Superior. “I thought this was the day you spent with your family.”
“It was,” sighed the Sister. “And I went to play golf with my brother. We try to play golf as often as we can. You know I was quite a talented golfer before I devoted my life to Christ.”
“I seem to recall that,” the Mother Superior agreed. “So I take it your day of recreation was not relaxing?”
“Far from it,” snorted the Sister. “In fact, I took the Lord’s name in vain today!”
“Goodness, Sister!” gasped the Mother Superior, astonished. “You must tell me all about it!”
“Well, we were on the fifth tee — and this hole is a monster, Mother — 540 yard par 5, with a nasty dogleg right and a hidden green … and I hit the drive of my life. The sweetest swing I’ve ever made. And it’s flying straight and true, right along the line I wanted … and it hits a bird in mid-flight!”
“Oh my!” commiserated the Mother Superior. “How unfortunate! But surely that didn’t make you blaspheme, Sister!”
“No, that wasn’t it,” admitted the Sister. “While I was still trying to fathom what had happened, this squirrel runs out of the woods, grabs my ball and runs off down the fairway!”
“Oh, that would have made me blaspheme!” sympathized the Mother Superior.
“But I didn’t, Mother!” sobbed the Sister. “And I was so proud of myself! And while I was pondering whether this was a sign from God, this hawk swoops out of the sky and grabs the squirrel and flies off, with my ball still clutched in his paws!”
“So that’s when you cursed,” said the Mother Superior with a knowing smile.
“Nope, that wasn’t it either,” cried the Sister, anguished, “because as the hawk started to fly out of sight, the squirrel started struggling, and the hawk dropped him right there on the green, and the ball popped out of his paws and rolled to about 18 inches from the cup!”
The Mother Superior sat back in her chair, folded her arms across her chest, fixed the Sister with a baleful stare and said …
“You missed the f—ing putt, didn’t you?” 😡😆😆 #humor
How Do Court Reporters Keep Straight Faces?
These are from a book called Disorder in the Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place.
ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!
_____________________________
ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
__________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
__________________________________________
ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?
WITNESS: July 18th.
ATTORNEY: What year?
WITNESS: Every year.
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ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?
WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?
WITNESS: Forty-five years.
_______________________________
ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget..
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
__________________________________
ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: He's 20, much like your IQ.
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ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you shitting me?
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ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Getting laid
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ATTORNEY: She had three children , right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
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ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death..
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Take a guess.
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ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I'm going with male.
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ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
____________________________________
ATTORNEY: Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.
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ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral...
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ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PM
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.
__________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?
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And last:
ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No..
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.
Jose Santiago
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It's now 712 days since Donald Trump's Jan 6 terrorist attack. Not only has Trump not been charged with even one crime, he's now running for President where he's actively spewing more lies to delegitimize our democracy. Long past Time to INDICT TRUMP! #Jan6Committee
- https://www.instagram.com/slider7420/
Former biologist, current Information Security Engineer, wannabe amature #Movie and #Television Pundit. I post mostly about the latter. I enjoy #BuffyTheVampireSlayer more than and adult hetero male is supposed to. I play video games poorly. Lifelong #MiamiDolphins fan. I struggle with #depression and it keeps me from doing many things I'd like to do. #Godzilla fan. Get ready for pictures of my #dogs. Twitter migrator, twitter handle is @themcluster. My bio is evolving.
Joined Nov 2022
